Have you ever broken something and just stood there in shock that something once useful is now completely useless and unfixable!? Just moments ago it was perfect. Moments.
I wake up more often than not with that question pointing at myself. "God, how can you use THIS? ME!? I just see shattered pieces." The moment my eyes open and focus I find myself trying to sweep myself up or under the rug hoping that if I just cover enough of the cracks God will use me then; that I somehow made it better. Yesterday was better, why not just have used me then?
Today I fumbled over conversations, stumbled into dangerous territory. I forgot promises made and fell short of deadlines. I've yelled way too much, occasionally at strangers and I was so sensitive, the heat of the wrath that followed made global warming undeniable.
Don't you want to be my friend? lol I'm done. Broken. It's over. How can God use this?
I sat staring at the sun peaking through the blinds, watching time slowly shift the broken shadows. A beautiful kaleidoscope made its way through my living room, constantly changing the pattern of light. I began turning thoughts in my head...
Maybe we're not supposed to pretend to be a solid perfect piece. Maybe through our shattered and sharp edges a constant Light shines through us and reflects a picture greater than ourselves. Maybe instead of trying to cover the cracks, God moving us in our brokenness will be more beautiful and make more sense than ANYTHING we could put together.
By being willing to change, I'm transformed constantly by a perfect Light that shines through me creating a pattern, story and vision beyond what I could ever see myself creating.
God loves kaleidoscopes and no matter who you are or what you've done, He loves you and He longs to shine through you. Stop sweeping yourself under the rug. Stop hiding in the dark. Tomorrow is a new day. Be willing to point yourself to the Light.
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