Did you check on me?

I had just put Cora down for bed and was straightening up a little bit before hitting the sack myself. I picked up her tiny clothes and tossed them in the laundry room and peeked into her room to see her little body lying peacefully, the only movement was her chest and her pacifier. I smiled and suddenly remembered me and my sister asking my mom every single morning if she had come in to check on us while we slept the night before.

"Mom, did you check on me?" My mom would always answer yes and then we asked her how we looked. Occasionally she would throw in a funny comment but most of the time she would say we were peaceful. I was never let down by any of her answers. To be honest, I believe I only cared about the first half of the question.

"Did you check on me?" --- "Yes."

There's a reason why as a child I asked that question. Just knowing my parents were there was securing. Knowing that in my most vulnerable state, they were looking after me.

Sometimes, we ask God a similar question, "Were You there?" We can ask Him that every single day and the answer will be the same. "Yes." But we don't always believe it. We don't always sleep peacefully. We don't always feel His love surrounding us.

What keeps us from believing He is there? Maybe we don't feel like we're worth it. Maybe we've been abandoned before by the world. As a child, who I was and what I had done did not factor into the question I asked my mom every single morning. It didn't matter to me then like it does now. I just wanted to know if she saw me.

We need to go back to that. We need to remember that no matter the choices we've made that God is there. He is always there, and He loves you that much to be with you in your most vulnerable state, whether that be sleeping, doing errands as you hold animosity in your heart, or curled up in the corner of the room wondering why it had to be you.

He loves you. He sees you. And He begs you to ask every morning, "God, did you check on me?" Because He longs to answer in a soft and still voice, "Yes."

"The Lord himself will go before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forget you. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry.” Deuteronomy 31:8

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed." Psalm 34:18

Be Silent ... Be Still

I remember watching the movie, She's All That (1999) starring Freddie Prinze Jr. and Rachael Leigh Cook and being completely freaked out, uncomfortable, and confused at the part of the film where the "artsy folk" pranced around a cafe stage acting like lunatics for the sake of art.

Drama... running around... screaming... chaotic images displaying in the background... and then Rachael Leigh Cook makes her entrance covering them in a white sheet and repeatedly says, "be silent, be still." Albeit the whole scene is ridiculous and funny, she makes a point.

There are moments in our lives where we feel the world spinning around us. We can't catch our breath and we don't believe we're able to find a single soul out there who understands what we're going through. Frustrating.

So what do we do when we reach these points?

God calls us to be silent and be still. Exodus 14:14 states, "The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." Others versions translate calm as keeping your peace or being silent. Now the first part of this verse is very important stating, "The Lord himself will fight for you." We live in a world where we find it difficult to rely on anyone but ourselves and when something goes wrong we feel the need to fix it; one hundred percent of it. But sometimes, there are incidents that are out of our control.

I recently spoke with two friends that were having difficulties with their relationships. I could just see them standing in the middle of the room with their worlds running spastically around them. They asked two defining questions; "What do you do when you want out [of the relationship]?" and, "How do I go on from here?"Now, I've had a decent share of failed relationships, not just romantically, friendships too so having been hurt (maybe not to the extreme as my friends). I can tell you it is freeing when you allow Jesus to speak/fight for you.

So how do we get to that freedom? When we feel betrayed, alone, and purposeless, where do we go?

We first close our mouths, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth (suddenly I'm having flashbacks of my 3rd grade P.E. teacher telling me how to run around the field). Seriously though, ShHhHush. If you do this, you're keeping yourself from not only hurting others but yourself as well. The Bible says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). When things are initially going crazy, try not to talk. Trust me.

Second, this isn't a stop, drop, and roll deal. This is a stop, shush, and stay calm deal. So by now you've said to yourself over and over not to say anything. What next? Don't DO anything that will hurt yourself or others. Stay calm. People do this in a variety of ways. For me personally I enjoy sitting at the piano and letting the keys speak for me. Others bake, some organize and my husband, he chops wood or changes the water in the fish tank. If you have no idea what to do, take a nap.

Being silent and calm will allow God to speak to you. What will God say? He usually gives you peace above anything else. Then He will give you patience and perseverance to continue enduring that day in-between because when it rains, it pours. And when the rain finally stops and the sun comes out, you'll smile knowing you can start fresh on a new day knowing nothing was said or done that would hurt you in the days ahead, keeping you from the good days God has for you.