Little Pink Piano

It was Cyber Monday and I didn't come across a thing I wanted. I really didn't look to be honest. I guess I was just interested in sites that offered Free Shipping. But I didn't come across those either. Maybe it was because Cora had a cold and she was not having it all day? Ugh... goodbye Cyber Monday. I did however come across a little pink grand piano with 30 keys and just knew I had to get it for Cora. Not because I want her to be just like me. In fact, I've had about 10 lessons of piano before my teacher told my mom I wasn't teachable because I wouldn't follow the page and that I just kept playing what was in my head.

No, I don't want Cora to be like me, but I do want to her to see what I've seen in being musical. I want her to see how people are affected by music. How it can break and mend a heart. How it can make you forget the pain or remember the good times for five minutes. Generations, millions of people moved by music. Moved to do great things, become great people, simply by seeing a better version of themselves at the end of a melody.

I want her to hear what I've heard. Hundreds of men, women, and children and their stories on how my personal music showed them they're not alone. I want her to hear their stories of where they came from because PEOPLE, good and bad, are the inspiration in everything we do. What they have to say to us and to each other determines the key and progression of each song. And although the people we come to know may never know the melodies they lead, their songs will forever be heard in our lives and the steps we take.

I want her to know what I know. That it's okay to play alone and it's just as great to play for millions. Her worth and identity should never matter on how many people hear, see, or like her but rather what God has made her to be and if that's hitting one key at a time in an chromatic sequence or smashing at them equally in emotion and not making much sense, I want her to know every song, every step and every breath she takes has a purpose for something beyond herself and beyond her circumstances.
So Merry Christmas Cora. I can't wait to hear your song.

What's in a name?

Ten years ago we had our first show as Beyond the Veil. The night before our show my sister Miriah and I picked out our matching outfits and sat in the living room practicing our songs. We hadn't written anything of our own, instead we purchased some karaoke tracks and harmonized with it. We were going to be stars. I had a dream and I had a vision on how things would play out in accomplishing that dream.

Flash forward ten years later and I can tell you with full confidence that my dream has come true, but it's not the same dream I had ten years ago.

It's amazing what time and the motions of life will do to your heart. Averaging 60-70 shows a year we found ourselves everywhere. There were shows where we played for the guy behind the counter, and there were shows we played where the crowd looked like waves in the sea. There were shows where we were blessed abundantly financially and there were shows where we walked away with nothing. And through every show, in every moment, my heart was taking something in; my story was important.

I came to Christ at a young age and throughout my adolescence I wrestled with how much I should allow Jesus in my story or in my music. I didn't want to be pushed away, I wanted to be heard. Being young in the industry I would often go back and forth between the opinions of others such as, "you need to be rockier," "you need to change your hair," "you need to live in a bigger city," "you need to have different managers other than your parents," and last but not least, "you need to change your name."

It seemed like everyone had the answer to how I could quickly get to the top and maybe all of the commotion helped me retreat back to the small town I lived in and continue on the way I felt led to go; with my family. It wasn't long before Sierra, our youngest sister, joined the group and we quickly became known for our harmonies. We were then blessed with an RV (aka Band Bus) and spent our high school/college weekends traveling from town to town. No matter the exposure, no matter the financial return, one thing was always made clear to us as a family; our story was important.

In 2011 I was married to the man of my dreams. The following year, my sister Miriah married the man of her dreams, who happened to be my dream man's roommate. Then later in 2012, Sierra headed off to college. We were all in different cities and spread out in 3 different states. Every now and then I took my piano and sang at a few open mic nights in the new state I was so unfamiliar with and every moment my heart yearned, not for the band we once were but rather the family we once were.

What happened? Why did we all have to be separated? People quickly began assuming Beyond the Veil would soon be disbanded, until late 2012 we released our album Spoken. We weren't able to tour as much as we wanted with it but I made the message clear within each song sung; our story was important.

In 2014, after I gave birth to my daughter Cora, we all gathered together to celebrate her 1st birthday and realized Beyond the Veil was not the same band anymore. We were not the same people anymore and I guess that's what happens with most bands. You realize the roads you've been traveling together weren't meant to be the same roads forever and we concluded that it was time for a change; we needed our story to reflect where we were in life now, which are different roads. And although we're on different paths, singing different notes, we're still singing the same song.

Our story is important because His story made our love for each other as a family and our music WORTH pursuing. And that's something we ALWAYS want to spread to others on and off the stage. Our dream is ultimately to share the love and peace of Jesus to those around us whether we are together or apart and to do that we needed a name that promised that to our fans and friends; Harmony Roads.

Thank you Beyond the Veil for teaching me that life is so much more than the voice I have to give; that it's so much more than who I am but rather who Jesus is and the importance of surrounding yourself with people who love and encourage you to be the best and most helpful person you can be for the good of the world.

My First Valentine

Dating was rough. I'm the eldest of three girls so when it came time for my age group to start dating, it did not go as well as I wanted for me. I remember being frustrated a lot of the time. Being the first to go through it all didn't help either. I wanted so bad to be like some of the other girls. But when you're young minded like that and figuring yourself out, there are bound to be days when you'd give anything to be someone else. Anyway, when Valentine's Day would roll around, the student committee would come to each room and drop off flowers purchased by people during lunch. I remember thinking how nice it would be to just have that attention and love that some of the girls were getting. To be desired on every level... (or so I thought).

High School.

My parents didn't want me dating until I was 18 (preferably 30). However, by the time I was 16, I convinced them that group dates were "for reals legit" and that I was safe and sound. I stayed safe and surrounded myself around a good group of people and I was smart enough not to put myself into any bad or regretful situations. But it didn't take long before I realized the void I had wasn't being filled by any guy that came across my path and when the flower was finally placed on my desk at school one year it wasn't nearly as satisfying as I had hoped.

When I got home, I gave my flower to my little sister who at the time was around 10 or 11 years old. I watched her smile and put it in a vase. I sat on my bed and did my homework for a few hours and then there was a knock on my bedroom door. I looked up and saw my dad standing in the doorway with a teddy bear and chocolates. I could feel my cheeks stretch from smiling so wide and I ran and gave him a big hug. I watched him give each of my sisters their gifts and then turn to my mom and give her flowers and a kiss. My heart was full, but not because of my dad, although, he never failed at being our valentine year after year until we were married. My heart was full because my dad (and mom) loved Jesus first. They loved Jesus so much that it spilled over into our lives and touched each one of us in a unique and personal way.

You see, Jesus' love, well His kind of love is more than a flower bought in a High School cafeteria. Song of Solomon 8:6 states, "... for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD." That was what I wanted; strength and passion, but not from a man. I wanted it forever; to be eternally mine.

I accepted Christ at a young age as my Father and friend but I didn't acknowledge Him as one that could hold my very being and comfort me in unconditional way as a lover would until that day when I saw my family operating in the love of Christ. It just clicked... probably because I was looking for and open to it.

Ephesians 3:17-19 states, "I pray that Christ will live in your hearts by faith and that your life will be strong in love and be built on love. And I pray that you and all God’s holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ’s love—how wide and how long and how high and how deep that love is. Christ’s love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with the fullness of God."

So although it took me 16 years to realize Jesus had not only been the first but most fulfilling valentine I could ever have, once I knew in my heart that was true, I was filled with the fullness of God.

My journey wasn't (still isn't) perfect though. I was alone sometimes and I almost settled in a few relationships. That empty feeling would come and go but when it did, I just reminded myself that God had a plan and accepted the fact that I may never know the greatness of God's love for me. I stood on his principals and trusted the wisdom of others. I was vulnerable and allowed my heart to break and in turn God began to make whatever pain I went through beautiful to understand what it meant to be unconditional.

Flash forward to one sunrise in May, when a young man approached me and said hello... and suddenly I felt the presence of God surround me.

Happy Valentine's Day